Hope everyone has new year's resolutions, as they seem to be all the rage. I think new year's resolutions are like herpes, most people get them at some stage in their life....but they tend to disappear after a while.
I couldn't help wondering what Paul Mason aka Britain's Fattest Man's resolutions are, i have a couple of guesses: 1.Roll over by March 2.Find his penis by October (Ive actually heard he's sent Randolph Fiennes and Bear Grylls on an expedition to locate his penis...but radio contact was lost at the summit of his belly button..) and 3.Have his book "Karma Sutra for the morbidly obese" published, just has 1 position, him on his back....its more of a leaflet to be honest.
I love this guy tho! He thought he was 70st and turns out he was only 58st....and he was chuffed! What was his thought process "sure that's like the average weight isn't it?"...yea FOR A WHALE!
He said when he was at his worst, he was eatin 40 packets of Walkers crisps a day! 40 a day! Imagine the amount of shitty prizes he must have won! and thank Christ he wasn't Irish! We woulda had another potato famine!
But he said he's finally found romance now and I'm a bit skeptical about whether to believe him or not. He is quoted as saying she helped him through "thick and thin"...really "thin" AND "thin"?????? I mean...unless the rest of that quote is "crisp pizzas" then i think he's fulla crap!
I see Kerry Katona has joined "Dancing on Coke"...i mean "Ice"! Now that's what I call top quality reality TV, giving a manic depressive access to blades!
Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse on "Who's line is it anyway?"
An Austrian hidden camera show with Joseph Fritzel called "Big Brother.../father.../grandad)
Gary Glitter on "Are you smarter than a 10year old....or at least smart enough to not get caught with one on your computer"
Amanda Knox on "You've been framed"
and Maddie McCann on "Location, location?"........o don't be so shocked!
I hear the Beckhams are expecting again. Posh has denied rumours she's going to desperate measures to have a girl. She did say that it will be named after the place it was conceived like Brooklyn....so IVF Clinic Beckham is due this summer...........topical.
There's a taste of the material I'm trying out lately. Gigging quite a bit on London at the moment and things are going well. Also making my "acting" debut at the end of the month. The company I work for are doing a film for training and seminars and I've been chosen to play a recovering drug addict! So in researching for the role I shall watch Supahans in Peepshow as much as possible and converse with my wilder friends...as seen below.
Crazy attempts at stardom aside, I'm debating whether to do a Triathalon or Marathon this Spring/Summer. I just cant seem to get enough of bloody nipples and chaffing....like spending a night with Courtney Love i imagine (Steve Coogan would know...aha!).
I promise I'm going to try to keep this up (that's what he said!). Now that I'm gigging a lot more its a good way to test out new material! Feedback is welcome....but if its negative ill never speak to you again!
Laters
Den
